What kind of man puts oil in his beard?
Next thing you are going to be perming it
And coming in Just For Men to hide the gray.
A beard is supposed to be this scraggly thing
Hanging on to the bottom of your face
Pushing out every which way.
It is supposed to be a statement to the world:
Look at me. I am so lazy
That I can’t even run a razor over my face
Before I begin the day.