August Poem 30: Batman, the Very Dark Knight

Would you believe Batman a murderer?

Murdered a goon or three. In cold blood. And

Encouraged Robin’s murder spree as well.

The campy Adam West version Batman

A murderer! World’s greatest detective.

What did he think happened? Batman. You split

Their atoms right out of existence. Hard

Water infused henchmen. Now nuclear

Fallout. Batman, do not their lives matter?

Working for the Penguin should not be a

Death sentence. Having the Joker reduce

You to dayglow dust should not be a death

Sentence. Should all henchmen dread the Batman?

The judge. The jury. The law. The Batman.

January Poem 2

What kind of man puts oil in his beard?

Next thing you are going to be perming it

And coming in Just For Men to hide the gray.


A beard is supposed to be this scraggly thing

Hanging on to the bottom of your face

Pushing out every which way.

It is supposed to be a statement to the world:

Look at me. I am so lazy

That I can’t even run a razor over my face

Before I begin the day.

October Poem 11 Tweet Poem: Magic 8 Ball Answers

Magic 8 Ball Answers


I’m sorry. I wasn’t listening.

I just farted.

Nobody cares.

Have you ever heard of Google?

Dude, how about a breath mint.

What the fuck are you asking me for?

Shut up, and grow a pair.

Slap me silly and call me Susan.

You’d be magic too if you had 8 balls.

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