Book Fair Kyrielle—Rant Poem—Poetry Scavenger Hunt

Come and buy the books you don’t need

With baubles and pencils and such.

Help to urge your children to read,

But they really cost too damn much.


It could really help out the school

If you were involved just a touch.

When your there you’ll feel like a fool.

The books really cost too damn much.


We get local funding. We do.

And we’d even like to declutch

Our budget from money from you,

But teaching really costs too damn much.


I wrote this rant poem as part of Muris’ poetry scavenger hunt on the A Different Perspective page. If you want to participate, check out her page here:

Good, Better, Best Scenario

Doctors, I’ve had it with your good, better best scenarios. We all know that “good” means instant death. If I was dead, I wouldn’t be taking to you, so why are you wasting my time with this?

And “better” means that you can keep me alive for up to a week while you squeeze my insurance company for all they have.

And “best” is whatever disease I happen to have at the moment. Whatever I have isn’t my best-case scenario. This isn’t what I want to have. I would much rather have my health.

And there is not someone up there looking out for me, or I wouldn’t be here, would I?

And if I have a guardian angel, it must be the same one that protected Job.

And what the hell is a walking miracle anyway? Is that supposed to be a joke? You can see that I came in here unable to walk, can’t you?

The lol Police

Look, of course, I know that ‘lol’ is an abbreviation for ‘laugh out loud.’ I only pronounce it phonetically because it has been part of the mainstream English lexicon at least the last twenty years. I just pronounce it that way because I know that you will understand it, not because I don’t. It is exactly like the abbreviation for the Federal Bureau of Investigation. Only squares pronounce the ‘F’ the ‘B’ and the ‘I.’ It’s ‘Fubee.’ That’s how you say it, ‘Fubee.’

April Poem 11: NaPoWriMo: Imposter Syndrome

He’s not a poet
And didn’t know it

What is it that made me think I could do this for a living? A Bachelor’s degree in English and one small victory just after college. An independent internet press picked up two of my poems. Wouldn’t you know it? It folded before they were published. My one accomplishment in letters, and there is nothing to show for it.

And they weren’t even my real work. I had this idea that I was going to add something to the poetic discourse. I had something new. That is why no publisher would touch it. It was too smart. Too cutting edge. I had rediscovered one of the Dadaist composition techniques. The fold-in may have had its heyday nearly a century ago, but I was seeing it with fresh eyes. Eyes that had seen the new millennium. Eyes that had seen the rise of the internet. Of social media. Of Twitter.

I had something that the Dadaists of the 1920s didn’t. I had my own writings to fold together. The essays, fictions, and poems from my college days. Nobody else had my writings. Nobody else had my ideas. I could take my mass of folded-in gibberish and find the important parts bring them together into poetry. It would be beautiful. People would love it. They would emulate me. I would win awards. I would sell poetry.

And here I am just another hack pumping out my ravings into the ether. What a sham! What a scam! What a dickhead!

April Poem 5: NaPoWriMo

“How dare you put words into my mouth?”

Just like used speech bubbles laying around that I crammed into your gaping maw? Even those words require interpretation. Am I not allowed to interpret your words? Am I just too stupid to understand? Or do your words tumble out without meaning like refuse from an overturned garbage can. Refuse from a dumpster lifted high on the mechanical arms of a garbage truck.

Must I sit back and watch the words pile up pointlessly at my feet as you pelt with them? Should I be as numb as the dog that stands in a hill of angry fire ants unblinkingly allowing the words to pour out of the hill swarm up my leg stinging me around the balls and ass? Am I this useless excuse of a human being worth no more to you than a target dummy? Am I this nameless faceless sack filled with straw that you pelt with your words until money pours from my wounds so you can rake it up and throw it away?

January Rant: What is a story?


A story is when you ask someone how was their day. They say that they went to the store and the line was long and some ass decided to pay with a check.




That was a story. There was no buildup. There was no climax. There was no conclusion. They told you their story. It was true. You liked or you didn’t, but you were entertained.




But if you really need it to fit the format of a story. The buildup is that there is a person in front of you. The climax is that they are in front of you. And the conclusion is that there is still a person in front of you. You wanted to hear a story. You were told a story. It was a story.




Fiction stories work the same way. You want to hear a story. You are told a story. Whether or not it fits your expectations of a story. It was a story.




You wanted a story. You got a story. Because it existed, it is true. You liked it or you didn’t. You were entertained. It was a story. Freytag’s triangle can lick my balls. It was a god damned story. Fuck you!


January Poem 2

What kind of man puts oil in his beard?

Next thing you are going to be perming it

And coming in Just For Men to hide the gray.


A beard is supposed to be this scraggly thing

Hanging on to the bottom of your face

Pushing out every which way.

It is supposed to be a statement to the world:

Look at me. I am so lazy

That I can’t even run a razor over my face

Before I begin the day.

R.I.P Carrie Fisher *Spoilers* Star Wars: The Force Awakens *Spoilers*

star wars tfa

Before you read my post, you should read this post by Nerdlingstale. My post is a response to this one:


I loved the movie. I was so afraid that it was going to be another stinker like the prequels. Episode VII gave me all the right emotions in all the right places, And I agree that Kylo Ren is exactly what I wish Anakin had been. I was able to thoroughly enjoy this movie even with its issues.

Finn’s crisis of conscience happened too early. He turned away from the ‘dark side’ before we knew enough about his character to even care. If we had followed him through half the movie before he turned, we would have felt the enormity of his choice to run away, but instead, it was one of those scenes where you know you are supposed to feel joy for him doing the right thing and sorrow for the pain he feels yet you don’t care.

Han and Lea’s reactions were wrong. Han was afraid to see Lea but when they met they acted like it was just some happy family reunion instead of two former lovers that have a shared tragedy. And when they spoke of their son they spoke like he was just away at camp. I know that parents can often see beyond their children’s wrong doings, but their son was complicit in killing billions of people with his ‘not-death star’ uh… (What should I call it?)… Death Star.

And probably the biggest problem with the movie is that the plot is driven by a search for Luke Skywalker. This is a plot with no stakes. If the good guys find him. we get a cameo of Mark Hamel being a teacher, and If the bad guys find him we get a cameo of Mark Hamel as a captive. Either way, it is a win for the fans of the original trilogy that like being pandered to, but the fate of the universe does not hang on who finds him. so when Rea found Luke at the end all I thought was: “Now what?” But just the same, I loved every moment of the movie and I am dying to see the next one.

And for fan theories, Finn is force sensitive and will be training as a Jedi before the trilogy is over. The reason he was able to defy his storm trooper programing was because he had ‘force strengthened’ willpower. And the reason that Kylo Ren noticed him, knew his, serial number, and knew he was the one to run away was because he felt the force flowing in him. Also, with absolutely no light saber training Finn was able to hold his own with Kylo Ren who had years of training. Finn did eventually lose the fight but he was not cut down like a normal nobody would have been.

Rey will turn out to be Darth Plagueis. In The Knights of the Old Republic game from 2003, a young adult with no memory of his or her past was left alone on a planet, and as the story goes on the person starts to get force powers without having to train for them. This person eventually finds out that he or she had been the leader of the Sith until the Jedi council caught him or her and erased his or her mind and blocked him or her from the force. After the force block breaks down he or she gets a second chance to choose the light or dark side of the force.

Rey’s force abilities seem to jump out of her fully formed without any training when Anikin and Luke both had to learn to use their powers a little at a time. So over the next two movies we will learn that Luke and young Ben Solo (Kylo Ren) worked together to defeat Darth Plagueis and worked together to wipe her mind, and this is why Kylo Ren seemed so worried when he heard that a girl was seen with Finn and BB-8.

We will, then, find out that it was Darth Plagueis’s (Rey’s) supreme control of the dark side of the force that first tempted Kylo to the dark side. By the time he met Supreme Leader Snoke, Kylo was easy pickings. And Kylo will tempt Rey to join forces with him to kill Snoke and rule the galaxy together as father and son… ahem… I mean partners. In the end, Kylo will sacrifice himself to kill Snoke and save Rey’s life, the rebels will destroy the new Death star before it becomes fully operational, and the Ewoks will have a dance party in their treehouses while the ghosts of Anikin, Obiwan, and Yoda look on.

I think I forgot to mention that this trilogy is just another retelling of the original trilogy just with different characters. It is directed by J. J. Abrams, and that is what he does. I mean just look at Star Trek II: The Not-Wrath-of -Kahn Wrath of Kahn.