Calling it Something Mickey Mouse–Flarf

I have spent my time working my tongue

Into the many romance languages

Like a dragon breathing 50 shades

Of Bollywood dance movies

Distorted into a terrible person.


Derived from vulgar Latin

And so many pink martinis

Plied into the fate-filled lover.

Fate and booze and other things

To ask a girl you like

To like about herself.


And you know vulgar is the part I like. Like putting

Lipstick on a pig and a rooster and hot coals. Like putting

Socks on a rooster and leaving it next to a shallow grave. Like putting

Plaster on a bumper sticker and saying you don’t like tattoos. Like putting

Romance and pickle juice in your stinkin eyeballs. Like putting

It out there and calling it something Mickey Mouse.


FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at:

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.

Reading the Riot–Landays

Many a fellow could make his future

Reading the riot found in the face of Rama.


Landays is a form of folk poetry spoken by women in Afghanistan who are predominantly illiterate because girls there are not allowed to attend school. A landays is a couplet with a first line of 9 syllables and a second line of 13 syllables. A landays is supposed to end on the sounds ‘ma’ or ‘na.’ The poems are often about love, homeland, grief, war, or separation. If you want to learn more about landays or any other poetry term, you can check out the Glossary of Poetic Terms at Poetry Foundation here: