September Poem 63: Today in Religious News: Pantoum

Elisha expressed his deepest remorse.

Multiple nations held under one head

Eaten by bears too harsh a punishment.

Household on one welfare account.

 

Multiple nations held under one head

Jesus in for questioning on

Household on one welfare account.

Reports that Lazarus faked his own death.

 

Jesus in for questioning on

God to be held up as a deadbeat dad.

Reports that Lazarus faked his own death.

Mary claims she never received a dime.

 

God to be held up as a deadbeat dad.

One family nets world’s largest welfare check:

Mary claims she never received a dime.

Government to revoke tax-free status

 

One family nets world’s largest welfare check:

Of each Christian, Muslim, and Jewish church.

Government to revoke tax-free status

In that historians have shown that God

 

Of each Christian, Muslim, and Jewish church

And Abraham conspired to defraud.

In that historians have shown that God,

He had children both by wife and handmaid.

 

And Abraham conspired to defraud.

Eaten by bears too harsh a punishment.

He had children both by wife and handmaid.

Elisha expressed his deepest remorse.

August Poem 1: Today in Religious News

Elisha expressed his deepest remorse.

Eaten by bears too harsh a punishment.

Jesus in for questioning on

Reports that Lazarus faked his own death.

God to be held up as a deadbeat dad.

Mary claims she never received a dime.

One family nets world’s largest welfare check:

Government to revoke tax-free status

Of each Christian, Muslim, and Jewish church

In that historians have shown that God

And Abraham conspired to defraud.

He had children both by wife and handmaid.

Multiple nations under one head of

Household. On one welfare account.

America Amerca Merca

America

The red white and blue

The nation of opportunity.

The melting pot of peoples, cultures, and ideas.

 

Amerca

Red faces, white topped mountains, and blue waters.

the worlds strongest economy.

the leader of the free world.

 

Merca

Red necks, white people, and blue balls.

The nation of free guns, pick up trucks and strict borders.

Jesus wrapped in the American flag,

A fully auto AR 15 in the crook of each arm

Taking aim at all foreigners

Chasing away the Muslim

Making Merca great again.

It Needs More Jesus: How to Write the Next Christian Hit

Jesus Rock

My wife listens to Christian music all the time, and I tend to make fun of her for it. I tell her that Christian artists are the rock and roll musicians that just didn’t have the talent to make it in the local cover band. Realizing they had no talent, they dashed out a chord or two on their acoustic guitar and wrote some sappy lyrics about how great God is while they made sure Jesus was mentioned at least every second word or so. And aside from a few outliers, my joking criticism of Christian music holds true for most artists.

Today I was filling up at the local Mississippi Christian gas station the kind that likes to cram their Christianity down your throat whether you like it or not, and I was surprised to hear a Christian song that didn’t quite fit the mold. It still mentioned Jesus saying the name directly several times throughout the song. It spoke of a girl inflexibly attending church. And it spoke of the girl being wildly in love with God and preaching Gods word. But it spoke all of this in the past tense. I was refreshed to hear a “Christian” song lamenting someone losing his or her faith in a real and permanent sort of way.

In most Christian songs or stories, the loss of someone’s faith is the beginning conceit for an annoyingly false narrative of someone showing this poor fallen person the truth and bringing him or her back to God’s grace. But this song did not do that. It left this girl‘s loss of faith unresolved and as such it humanized both the girl’s loss of faith that was treated like a real and difficult issue that the girl needed to resolve on her own and the singer of the song who was not just the deliverer of God’s poetic justice but a real person with real and complicated feelings about this girl. This song builds a relationship between the singer and the girl. You are left feeling the longing and disconnect caused by the growing gap between the two of them. Unfortunately, when people realize that this song doesn’t follow the strict guidelines of typical Christian thought, it will be pulled from the airwaves and it will never be allowed to spark off a much needed renaissance in Christian music. But at least I have just penned the next platinum selling Christian song that will make me a millionaire.

Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus

Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus

Jesus Jesus

Jesus Jesus

Jesus Jesus Jesus

Jesus

Jesus Jesus Jesus Jesus

Jesus Jesus

Jesus Jesus

Jesus Jesus Jesus

Jesus