The Inner Dialogue of a Punk Rock Poet Sellout—Flarf

Is my writing still punk rock

If you want to know adorable?

If I want it to be noticed?

.

Is my writing still punk rock

If I write for myself,

The single crushed butt,

And the small community or writers

Produced like something from the imagination

Who read my stuff?

.

Is my writing still punk rock

If I write for those who like without reading

Wood be wife meaning

Because they read enough of my writing

And fold them into expanding

To know what I wrote is more of the same?

.

Is my writing still punk rock

If my words are the meatballs I look upon

In the skies at night?

If I do the work to find the right publisher

To be craned into your yard and dropped into a hole?

.

Is my writing still punk rock

If I sent it out to be rejected?

If I just sold out and I told you

There is never a bad one

And expected someone to think that it is good?

.

Is my writing still punk rock

Whizzed up with salt and autonomous things

That you expected to proliferate?

If I write the shitty shit I write

And Jimmy’s goats are still eating

The bushes in his front yard?

***

FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were Poetry.com would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Poetry.com. Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.

How to Woo Your Wife—Flarf

Tell her that your first woman

Was hand carved from the heart wood

Of an old oak that fell behind your house

During a thunderstorm one lonely night.

.

Tell her about

A wood and wire fence,

Wood and an upholstered bed,

Wood and hearts,

Wood and erectile dysfunction.

.

Use a lovely old-fashioned phrase

All about a woman

In which the grain has grown

In a deformed manner.

.

Tell her a story about

Chris Wood and his wife,

Wood Harris and his wife,

And Levison Wood and his wife.

.

Tell her that is like Pinocchio,

And you think it will grow a little

Every time you tell her a lie.

***

FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were Poetry.com would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Poetry.com. Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.

Earth is in Orbit of the Sun at 18 Miles Per Second—Flarf

And yet you feel like you are standing still.

This is about the preferred step frequency

And walking speed of Tyrannosaurus rex.

.

This is about the cuisine of

Human body movements

That track falling objects,

.

The visual system that uses the physical laws,

The coherent flight of flocks of birds,

And significant regional variations

.

Including the range of scenes

That get you ready for a fight.

This about three critical benefits

.

That went in behind eye beams

And other superhero lasers that do

Damage on an awesome catastrophic scale.

.

This about ignoring the placement of the Earth

In the center of a cosmic shooting gallery

And narrowly avoiding the daily apocalypse.

***

FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were Poetry.com would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Poetry.com. Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.

The Things You Like to Eat Slathered in Salt and Butter—Flarf

A tree native to Southeast Asia

With the pink staining on the end

To simulate the lost lipstick of an unseen woman.

.

A blank white background

That contains hundreds of toxic chemicals

Known as the solar nebula

Formed from a giant rotating cloud of gas.

.

And evidence of the roundness of the Earth.

And political motivations.

And the three quarters of the sun made from hydrogen.

And ash and fury.

***

FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were Poetry.com would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Poetry.com. Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.

How Religion Affects Hollywood Careers: Celebrities Speak on Faith—Flarf

Take a look at the thunder

Wholly produced by the sky

Designed for function not expression.

It seems like it doesn’t belong there anymore.

.

While they can take the form of any regular religion

—Oval round or rectangular—the rectangular versions

Are often the most space efficient

Relationships between science and religion.

.

The term comes from a Slavic root

Flashing like day throughout the night

Guided by an external control device

.

With meanings associated with labor

And superhuman controlling power

Especially when guided by a God or Gods.

.

The term may refer to the water

Occupying the depression or the depression itself

Or lights, built in stairs, jets, and water features

.

Or it may refer to a human beings’ relation

To that which they regard as holy

A cause, principle or system of beliefs held in error

.

Like pre-cast idols made off-site

From fiberglass, concrete, or sometimes metal,

Like stainless steel or copper burnished to a bright sheen.

.

And all of these idols, especially the metal ones

Can anger the Gods and bring down the lightning

Forming the Earth and covering it

With a thin layer of vinal to record your next single.

***

FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were Poetry.com would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Poetry.com. Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.

For Perceiving Objective Events—Flarf

A lot of speech cues we usually use

Jam up our default processes

.

Like images violating natural laws

Served at redneck barbeques,

They tend to look unnatural

.

Because the internet wants you to want to

Complete the final destruction of the world,

Forget about seating plans,

Arguing aunts, and grumpy mothers-in-law

.

Or massless particles, including photons,

Which make up light and spicy sausages

That link an object to another server

.

Prepared with various cooking methods

That use live fire and smoke

***

FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were Poetry.com would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Poetry.com. Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.

The Underbelly of the Internet—Flarf

It is difficult to understand

An alien awash in Christmas tinsel

And this vast array of symbols

Most of which were pulled

From the middle of the sun.

***

FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were Poetry.com would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Poetry.com. Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.

At the Heart of the Solar System, the Sun Lies—Flarf

After a period of rain

And after African based religions

And dark clouds broke,

The research department has studied requests

For more informative materials to enter the valley of UFOs

.

And its influence on the Americas, the miracle of the sun,

Published testimony from witnesses

300 people verses the one

.

As detailed by Yoruba slaves, the Lady of Rosary, and

The followers of John the Baptist who did not accept Jesus Christ

Attended by a large crowd the hundred billion stars in the Milky Way

.

Conducting genetic experiments on unwilling humans

To produce a planetary species appearing to dance zigzag in the sky

Seeing something unusual as expected

.

Apparitions of an angel classified

As medium size concurring solar phenomena

And an old black and white photograph

An Earth of multicolored radiant light

.

Worship of idols who claim their religion from Seth and Idris

Alien beings of vastly superior intelligence of the actual sun miracle

Dark rain clouds behind trees and the sun poking through

The Sun appeared a spinning disk in the sky

***

FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were Poetry.com would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Poetry.com. Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.

I Can Be all Kinds of Me, and You Can, Too—Flarf

I look into your eyes to break down barriers.

I look into your eyes like a pop-soul song.

I look into your eyes to see my own reflection.

I look into your eyes to see me, and you can too.

.

You can see me in an American heist film.

You can see me caught in a game of seven card stud.

You can see me as a group of brainy illusionists.

You can see me the way I see myself.

You can see me in the reflection of your eyes in mine.

***

FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were Poetry.com would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Poetry.com. Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.

She Howled Like the Wolfman Getting a Brazilian Wax—Flarf

She held a little hope that he might see some answers she couldn’t see.

She says he needs to get everything popping.

She says I am still on the run.

She says I can still update my situation for $3.50.

.

He didn’t speak about their future together, and she was relieved.

She says liminal words that curl.

She says he got pimples.

She says all the games are rigged.

.

It was her turn to tell him she could speak words.

She says loves is for fools that fall behind.

She says seeking recognition is always a bad idea.

She says even the Nobel prize is bullshit.

.

He heard her through the window as she walked away.

She says she feels safe with him.

She says an advice on how to miscellaneous.

She says she loves whatever that is.

***

FLARF is a wild style of poetry that started as a joke. People noticed that no matter how bad your poems were Poetry.com would tell you that you had won their poetry prize. Then, they would try to scam you out of your money. So devious poets started sending the crappiest poetry they could write to Poetry.com. Even that would win the poetry prize. These poets began sending each other their crappy poems, and eventually it became a legitimate poetry style. If you want to read more about the FLARF or any of the other poetry terms, check out the glossary of poetic terms from the Poetry Foundation at: https://www.poetryfoundation.org/learn/glossary-terms

Google painting is a type of collaging that primarily uses internet search results and Google’s search prediction capabilities to generate quasi-random phrases. The technique helps jumpstart creativity with strange juxtapositions, broken syntax, and internet speak.