April Poem 29: NaPoWriMo

 

 

The corridors rode slightly back

 

And drew up. Finally,

 

Coffee table again. The smell

 

Related to taxation.

 

Strategy teaches and keeps.

 

Sculpt the dichotomy.

 

 

 

Strategies of beer companies’ Frankish doctor.

 

The symbolic story extends

 

Dick in hand from behind the bar.

 

41 authors reflected what is the purest form of together.

 

Beer: It’s Not Just for Breakfast Anymore

beer bread

For most college students, money is in short supply and a proper diet is often of little concern. Alcohol, the liquid bread, is the solution, but it is mired in controversy even though the its health promoting properties have been known for centuries.

Alcohol gets a bum rap in today’s society; it is blamed for poor self-control, and poor hygiene. Alcoholics, cirrhosis patients, and criminals, will all claim that alcohol is the source of their problems, but alcohol abuse is caused by poor self-control not the alcohol itself. Next, some feel that alcohol is unsanitary. When interviewed Carollyn said she does not drink because fermentation is the same as rot. However, alcohol is widely used in hospitals to kill germs and to disinfect wounds. Degenerates cause their own problems and alcohol is a disinfectant; maybe it is not as bad as people think.

In fact, the responsible and moderate consumption of alcohol is completely healthy. According to Consumer Reports, alcohol, taken in moderation, can boost HDL, the good cholesterol …, Moderate drinkers have a lower risk of isometric stroke …, and benefits appear to be strongest for people at risk of heart disease.” Additionally, moderate use of alcohol creates euphoria letting you know that life is good, providing a benefit to your mental health as well.  However, if you need that extra spiritual push there is Chimay Ale.

Chimay Ale is a Trapist brew made by Monks in a Belgian monastery. While behind the monastery walls, the brew goes through what is known as Immaculate Fermentation and its alcohol content is miracled into existence. According to the Beverages and More website, “[Chimay Ale has a] Beautiful coppery color and a creamy thick head; [the] aroma [is] reminiscent of ripe apricots; [it has a] silky mouthfeel with a pleasant touch of astringent bitterness in the finish.” Imagine the satisfying hiss as you pop the top on a cool Chimay Ale. Breathe in the pleasing aroma as you pour it into your favorite beer mug. Once you achieve the perfect beer to foam ratio, feel free to leisurely sip this wonderful elixir. A bottle of Chimay Ale is truly a spiritual experience.

Chimay Ale is available for purchase from reputable online retailers.  You can buy your way into heaven at only six dollars a bottle, so buy two bottles of Chimay Ale; Drink one yourself and donate the other to a starving college student of legal drinking age.

Memorandum Corona VS Dosequis

3 September 2012

Memorandum for Ms. Holifield, Director of Random Internet Information

From: Richard Braxton, Random Information Specialist #889519

Subject: Online Strategies of Beer Companies to Appeal to Consumers

In accordance with the code of Random Internet Information Gathering Manual Number Two, I have randomly selected websites from two similar products that appeal to two dissimilar consumer groups. The websites Corona.com and Dosequis.com both appeal to consumers who are over twenty-one years of age, are internet savvy, and drink beer. Both websites allow their readers to learn more about their mission statements, their products, and dates and times of festivals sponsored by their products, but that is where their similarities end.

Corona.com caters to an older more sophisticated crowd and offers:

  • A relaxed aesthetic feel of light grey, blue and yellow.
  • An introductory slideshow depicting Corona Beer in exciting vacation destinations accompanied by relaxing music.
  • A photo gallery where readers can share their own ideas of paradise involving Corona beer.

Dosequis.com caters to a younger sillier crowd and offers:

  • A feigned sophisticated aesthetic of black, brown and red.
  • Sophisticated graphics focused on a company crest that is much more ridiculous than one might expect.
  • A page where readers can learn about the adventures and misadventures of The Most Interesting Man in The World.
  • A video gallery where readers can post video of silly toasts involving Dos Equis Beer.
  • An assortment of silly videogames with sophisticated names.

In summary, Corona.com caters to a more experienced class of beer drinker while Dosequis.com caters to the more fun loving class of beer drinker.