October Poem 24: Hit Me

I am waiting here

With my guard down

Trying to anticipate the next move.

Trying to see the next attack.

The next punch.

 

When I had moved in, I swung.

I swung wild,

And I was rebuffed

With a punch to the face.

 

My nose trickled blood,

And you stepped back.

I stumbled a step forward,

And you stepped back.

 

You say you won’t swing

If I can’t defend myself.

 

 

Is there a word?

Is there a name?

Is there an epithet

That I can whisper

That I can say

That I can scream in your face

That will make you hate me?

Make you hurt me?

Make you hit me?

Because I need to feel.

 

I drank myself numb

So I can feel.

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